An honest look at myself

I noticed something about myself the other night, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  You see, every Saturday, I take my mother to Mass and then out to eat.  This week, my hubby and two daughters met us.  I noticed as we sat at the table, there was a lot of banter between the three of them and I actually found myself telling all THREE of them to settle down!  After countless sobering remarks from me, I took a quick look at myself and wondered where this was coming from.

Looking at my husband and two daughters sitting across from me at the table, laughing, hugging, making funny faces, sneaking food off each other's plates, I wondered why I was so serious.  I love to have a good laugh as much or more than anyone.  Why was I determined to be the stick in the mud?  I looked at them and glanced at Mom sitting next to me.

Then I came to this conclusion:  when I am with Mom and  tending to her needs, which in this case, included choosing something for her to eat and drink, I am honed into her body language and reaction to everything said and done around her.  She can begin to feel very left out and alone if she doesn't understand the topic of conversation, the private little jokes, the muttering, and she begins to shut down.  In an effort to avoid her impending downward spiral, I continually try to nip these things in the bud.  After some self-examination, I think that is where my head was and in my attempt to focus on my mother, I overlooked the special and sweet relationship my daughters have with their daddy.

I spoke with my husband after we returned home and told him why I believed I was so persistent in them "behaving" in the restaurant.  I apologized to him for not quite knowing how to balance my attention on mom's needs and enjoying my precious children's blooming personalities.  He was understanding and knows how protective I am about my mother.

The atmosphere surrounding that meal still haunts me and I continue to try to work through my thoughts and feelings.  I've only been introduced to dementia the last few years so I am a fairly new student in this realm.  I just hope I am a quick study concerning all areas.

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle

Sticking to my guns

When I last wrote I was determined to set aside time to consistently cook for my family for many reasons:  I love to cook, it's better use of our funds and its a great family time to share my love of cooking with my daughters.

 I went to the grocery store with a list in hand.  I "planned" on cooking Chicken Fried Steak for supper on the night my hubby returned from a week long business trip but he insisted he would "treat" me to a night on the town.  We went back and forth and I finally succumbed to his offer and we went out.

The next morning I was determined!  We would have a home cooked meal on our table that evening if I had to ....well....you get my drift.  As soon as my 13 year old daughter came in from school she jumped right in to help me with preparations.  The dinner was absolutely wonderful with one exception: I am not capable on my own accord nor with the help of a pictorial cookbook for crying outloud to competently make white gravy!  Everything was wonderful except the white gravy.  So thankful for my handy dandy jar of brown gravy in the pantry:)

Another new recipe I was excited to try that night was first introduced to me at our church's small family group.  We meet every Friday and each bring a dish and share our food, enjoy some fellowship and then have a short  interactive bible study.  I really enjoy my Friday nights with my church family group.

This next recipe was made by my friend Sunne and it was a huge hit at family group.  Are you dying to know what it is? Well it's simple, but oh so delish!  I found it in the Pioneer Woman's cookbook and it is called Olive Cheese Bread.  We don't like olives so my bread just consisted of french bread loaf, mayo, shredded cheese, green onions and butter.  When I tell you it was amazing, I am understating the obvious.  It actually tasted like a loaded baked potato to my family.  Next time (and there will be a next time) we will add bacon bits and see how that taste.

Now that I am getting into the swing of things, I got up this morning, a Saturday of all things, and made kolaches for the family.  As I begin to make preparations for bedtime, I smile at the aroma of the pot roast that has been cooking all-day-long on my stove.  I can't wait to serve that for lunch tomorrow after church for my gang of nine.

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle

One of my priorities - home cooking

I love to cook!  All of my children love to cook!  My hubby likes to cook.  Then why do we find ourselves eating out so much?  Because like so many others, we live in the fast lane and it's all about convenience. I've done it a hundred times - scour cookbooks with good intentions,  make my list, get the family's approval of any new dishes and purchase all my needed items and then,  life happens.  I plan on cooking dinner but then we have a ball game, or we need to go to town  or we have visitors or ....you get the picture.  As a result, I have food that's gone bad in the fridge and hubby is mad that we have wasted money again and I feel guilty for not being a better role model for my daughters - you know the whole June Cleaver syndrome.

So, this year, I am trying earnestly to first and foremost, not waste money.  That may mean not buying a week's worth of groceries but instead buying only a couple of day's worth.  It also requires me to be more organized, checking my calendar for scheduled events.  Even if I do have an event, I could and should still cook and just freeze it.  How simple is that?  

I've been a follower of Pioneer Woman's blog for some time and recently purchased her cookbook.  I love it!  It's interesting, full of photographs of her home and family and more importantly, step by step photos of her dishes.  Do I need that many photos?  No, but it is fun!  I am a visual person and a photographer, so this is right down my alley.  The recipes look wonderful and something my family would love to eat.  

This morning, I opted to try my first recipe from her book.  We went for the infamous, Egg in the Hole.  I have heard of that my whole life but have never seen it in person nor eaten it.  It was easy to make and tasty (what's not to love about the taste of butter).  However, we are fans of the scrambled egg and today was no different.  Yes, we love the buttery toast; yes, we love the flavor of the egg, but we would prefer scrambled eggs.

I've added pictures I took with my phone this morning.  What made it extra special was I was using my momma's old skillet.  Many, many a day she would whip up French Toast in that skillet.  I may try that tomorrow.

So I've made my list for three days worth of meals and I'm heading out to the grocery store.  I'll let you know how my week goes.

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle

Read more about the Pioneer Woman

Old photos of teacher's gifts

Sweet, sweet wedding

I was so blessed to be asked to photograph this very special wedding. Aubrey is my friend, my brother-in-Christ and my lawyer. LOL. His first wife passed away about three years ago and he is lucky enough to have found love again. Best wishes Mr. and Mrs. White.

Christmas Card that didn't make it to the mailbox

Well as all good intentions go, I wanted to send cards out to friends, clients and family this year. But, alas, I have failed again. So although it is too late to send out, I will include the card here so I won't feel quite as guilty for not getting it done yet another year. Oh and by the way, Happy New Year. I'm only 10 days late!

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle

Blogging Revisited 2011

It has been on my mind in recent months, to begin blogging about photography, my crazy, fun-filled life, caring for my mother, raising my four great children and being a wife to my sweetheart of 30 years! I hope as you read my triumphs, struggles, doubts, fears and general pondering, it will brighten your day or maybe let you know you are not alone in this great big world. So....here I go, jumping off, once again, into blogging. Wish me luck.....!

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle