Looking in the Rearview

In a matter of ten days, my oldest child, my son, my pride and joy, my hope -- that even though I am a screwed up individual at best, with lots of junk in my trunk, in spite of that, a child can turn out to be a  complete and whole individual who is happy, healthy and "normal" --whatever that is.  He restored my faith in my parenting skills and yet all along, I knew it was not me or my hubby, but the grace of God that helped us raise this boy into a godly young man.

He leaves hand in hand with his beautiful bride of nearly four years to pursue a new career in a new town in a new state. Do I have the tendency to dig my heels in and say, "no, please don't go,"-- you betcha I do!   I want to remind him how much it is my heart's desire not unlike most mothers, to keep my precious children and their families near me and my love until death do us part.

My family consisted of six children and my mother was from a family of eight children.  We were a crowd in and of ourselves but when you mixed in the relatives - oh the fun!  Our childhood was rich with family get togethers with aunts, uncles,  cousins, grandparents, and filled with crawfish boils, fish frys, BBQ's, Christmas parties, crabbing trips, Easter egg hunts, and lots of good cajun music to learn to jitterbug and waltz too.

My siblings have all moved away and have been gone for many years.  It saddens me that my children do not have the same opportunities I had to get to know my cousins and other relatives.  They all come home once or twice a year and they absolutely love each minute they are able to spend with each other, but it's just not the same.  I so wanted my children and grandchildren to be a close knit unit that would share wonderful memories much like I do with my cousins.  But, I do understand.

You see when I was young I wanted more than anyone or anything to graduate high school and leave my southern state and head to New York.  I wanted to travel the world - but that was not my fate.  My father died one month before I graduated high school.  I could not find it in me to leave my mother, so I remained here.  When I met my future hubby, he was an only child.  As mentioned earlier, my other siblings all left town soon after we were married.  As much as me and my hubby wanted to head to the northern states, our hearts would not let us.  I could not ask my in-laws to part with their one and only child and I could not leave my mother all alone.  So here we are 30 years later - and my children have an amazing relationship with their grands.  For that, I am thankful beyond words.  (Kleenex break...)

So knowing I once had those same ambitions, and knowing that we have already established a very close relationship with he and his beloved, I bid them farewell and wish them only the best! - with one hitch.  (Ha ha)  When they start having those grandkids, they better haul themselves back here before the sun goes down!

Good luck B & C - Momma loves  you dearly.  You have made me so proud.  Go get 'em and make your dreams come true.  When you look in the rearview mirror, I'll be smiling and waving but my heart will be sad.  If you love something, let it go.  If it was meant to be, it will come back.  Isn't that what they say?  Sniff, sniff.  Now, where is that semi-truck of kleenex I ordered?  Hmmmm.

With a smile and a happy heart,

Elle